My First Day Experience With An Oshogbo Weed(Igbo)

#1
I had just moved out of my parents house
and was sharing a room with my "friend".
I had no idea he smoked weed, despite his
suspicious movements and signature
weed scent(abi na odour?) barely two
weeks after moving in with him, my worst
fears were confirmed as he started
bringing home his weed smoking buddies
and they would occassionally roll a wrap
and smoke it right there in the room or
mix the weed with beans or spagehtti.
Being a very curious person i always
wondered what made them happy after
smoking, so i decided to find out for
myself(wrong move)
It was a very hot day in february, a
saturday i think it was, my friend was out
as usual. I searched everywhere for his
stash but couldn't find it so i decided to go
and get mine. I arrived the weed joint all
sweaty and nervous, half expecting to get
muged but nobody seemed to be aware of
my presence there, they were all on
different planets all expect one i concluded
that he must be the seller so i approached
him and the following conversation
ensued:
Me: how far?
Weed seller: i dey
Me: i wan buy weed
Weed seller: how many parcel?
Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: laughs really hard. bolo leleyi
sha(meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small
wrap, i didn't know that. I thought it was
something very large.
I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a
tiny wrap of weed with a white paper, i
was suprised when he gave me 950 as
change. I couldn't beleive weed was that
cheap.
On my way home, i decided not to smoke
it but mix it with beans because i thought
that it will be better that way(another
wrong move). Long story short, i cooked
beans and added the whole weed, ate it
and called my friend, i told him ogbeni i
just ate weed oo and nothing happened
to me this one that you people will eat and
be feeling funky, i don chop am oo. My
friend was like ehen you be strong man
oo
I decided to take a quick nap before doing
laundry, i woke up about 20 minutes later
on the floor i was banging my head on the
floor, and i couldn't stop, my heart beat
was so audible and fast, everything was
extra bright and extra loud. After a few
minutes of head banging, i was able to get
up from the floor,
I felt as if i had just gained access to a part
of my mind that I never knew existed
previously, it was scary and cool at the
same time. I could feel the blood flowing
in my veins(you have to experience it to
believe it. Though I strongly advise against
it) i felt so uncomfortable in the room, it
felt like i was in an oven suddenly a voice
in my head wisphered ogbeni bo aso e
joor (off your clothes) i obeyed. The voice
came again oya sa re(now run) that was
when i realised that the weed had taken
effect so i decided to take a shower to see
if it will calm me down, but the water felt
so hot on my skin so hot i ran out of the
bathroom.
I called my friend to see if he could help
me make sense of what was going on but
he laughed at me, he asked me the
quantity of weed i took and i told him i
used a whole parcel, he said guyyyyy you
don eff up if you no sleep in the next
30mins, you go mad oo go chemist make
you go explain yourself.
By this time things had escalated, i had a
severe itch at the back of my head that
wouldn't go away no matter how hard i
scratched and i was convinced that the
beating in my chest was an evil spirit that
could only be killed with a punch. I ran to
my neighbour champion and told him
champion e jo e fun mi lese laya(champion
pls punch me in the chest) ti e ba gbami
lese laya mo ma ku oo(if you don't punch
me i will die oo) he hissed and walked out
having had enough of such nonsense
from the boys in the boys quatters.
The voice in my head came again iwo na o
de gba ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni(why
don't you punch yourself in the chest or
do you want to die?) i punched and
punched but there was no difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in
my head was getting louder, the itch in my
head was getting worse, and the evil spirit
in my chest was getting louder. Then came
the voice again oya ma sare lo(start
running) so i started running but on
getting outside in the sun, i felt so cold i
was shivering but that didn't stop me
from running(i would have given husain
bolt a run for his money on that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realised i was
bare footed, i told him i had a severe
headache i needed something to make me
sleep immediately, he gave me the drug
and i chewed it right there in his presence,
next i asked him to give me a drug for evil
spirit, that was when he realised
something was wrong with me and
chased me out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my
heart beat wouldnt let me, so i ran back
out this time around to a nurse in the
area, first thing she asked was kilode o wo
bata ni? (why don't you have your shoes
on? I told her jackie chan ti gba bata lowo
mi (jackie chan collected my shoes) i was
finally able to explain my situation to her
and she took me in, tied something
around my elbow and injected me directly
in the vein. I passed out immediately only
to wake around 1 or 2am in the middle of
the night with the worst kind of hunger I
have ever felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf
of butter field bread in one sitting without
butter or tea.
I came home to a hero's welcome, my
friend told me e be like say your head no
carry am but e go better make you try am
once more so you go dey use to it. The
following day while the house was empty,
I packed my Ghana must go and like the
prodigal son in the bible I went back
home to my parents. It's been a few years
since that experience but the lesson I
learnt is an unforgettable one. My curiosity
hasn't gotten me in trouble again and my
circle of friends have since changed.
Author unknown.
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#2
😹😹😹

Bros I love this your confession.
E just d make me laugh.
...
Am still laughing...
U sure say that weed no transfer to me?
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#3
@Francischuxx , how e go take transfer to you,but u just av to be careful cos its power is too much..
.
By the way, i see your username inked,what happen?
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#4
Oh! The purple?
Ojukwu decided to ink my Username.
@Samboizz
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#5
(23-10-2017, 07:14 PM)Francischuxx Wrote: Oh! The purple?
Ojukwu decided to ink my Username.
@Samboizz

wow! But what does it mean?Mr Purpe
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#6
Chai this confession funny o
Reply
#7
Eeem...
I think so.
A
@Samboizz
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#8
The drug lords they untry sha......... rubbish wasted time
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#9
U get luck say killing of spiritual fly nor do u...
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#10
the people around u are wicked for not realizing in time,just a tin of milk and garri
Reply
#11
(23-10-2017, 07:14 PM)Francischuxx Wrote: Oh! The purple?
Ojukwu decided to ink my Username.
@Samboizz

@Ojukwu is he now an admin abi na mod
Reply
#12
@Chibuzor
Which one be killing of spiritual fly?
How e d do?
Smile
Reply
#13
U go dy clap air dy go 4 road 4 ur eye u dy kill fly... Bt 4 pple dem dy see ntin..
Reply
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